He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
