and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
