she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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