yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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