I need help removing her.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
