im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
