if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
do herpes really smell.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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