great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
No more Irish car bombs ever.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
