Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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