so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize