I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
