hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Still dying that you shit outside
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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