you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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