Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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