My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
