nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
