I feel great
I just peed on a car
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
