You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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