wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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