Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
