69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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