i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
