apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
