Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
