So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
