He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize