do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
