im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
