He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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