Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Send help, water and tortillas.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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