with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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