all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
