And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
