So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I want her autograph on my taint
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
