Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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