He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
