I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
