There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
