if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
