new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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