Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
