I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
