Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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