...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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