I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
