We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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