Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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