Kiss
Puke
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
