Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Jerry, you need to find god
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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