Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
