I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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