ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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