These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize