Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
