big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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