why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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